Bankruptcy

Don't let the new restrictions in bankruptcy law turn you off to the idea of fleeing from your financial obligations! Pinkerton, Duff and Graves understands that sometimes, you just ain't got the cash! So push those credit cards to the max until the very plastic of the card is buldging and swelling in your cashless wallet, and then come see us! We'll get you out of any contract, promisary note, blood oath, or pinky-swear you may have made to pay back your debts, guaranteed!

Contracts

If you're going to engage in any kind of business transaction, partnership, or engagement that requires a contract, come to Pinkerton, Duff and Graves! Our contracts are so bulletproof that the Army should stitch them into soldier's uniforms... if only they could afford it!

A PDG contract will protect you from any liability while simultaneously placing the other party forever in your debt and unable to escape, by any means, their obligation to submit to your every whim! Be it a pre-nuptual or just a contract you make your live-in illegal housekeeper sign, PDG has the contract for you!

Criminal Defense

Have you committed wholesale slaughter of another human being? Have you robbed a bank? Mugged an old lady? Maybe you just ripped off the company you work for by carting every flatscreen monitor in the place onto a moving truck. Serial rape? Desecration of a corpse? Sold tainted drugs to an entire schoolyard resulting in the death of an entire third grade class?

Well come on down to Pinkerton, Duff and Graves. We're not here to judge you! We're here to defend you by making sure that nobody else judges you! We won't quit until we hear either "case dismissed" or "not guilty", and then we'll go that extra mile to sue everyone involved on your behalf!

Personal Injury

Have you been hurt in an accident? Have you witnessed an accident and now suffer from nightmares? Has a movie, television show, song on the radio, or Shakespear in the Park production caused you emotional trauma? Come see us at PDG and we'll get you in touch with one of our on-staff physicians or psychiatrists and we'll turn your suffering into dollars! No injury too small or too unprovable! Other people have money, and you deserve some of that money!